Tuesday, 3 June 2014


Hi smears

note that there are no exclamation marks or dramatic upper case letters in my greetings. please also note that this is by no means a sign of impending doom, nor is it because of a lack of enthusiasm to blog. that day will hopefully never come for I fear I might lose all sense of sanity if it did. no, smears, nothing like that. I simply did not wish to impose a false sense of over-excitement on you or on myself when all im currently feeling is contention (I sincerely hope that that's a word).

As we hit the half mark of the year I thought I would give you guys a little update. at the beginning of the year I gave you guys the full sob-story that was my life. in case you missed it CLICK HERE. anyway in the sob story I promised myself that this year would be all about me. I would take back my life and my happiness would no longer depend on anyone else but me. I am pleased to report that this is the only resolution I made and kept. I do no want to say  that I've fulfilled it because self appreciation is something you work on every single day, not all day everyday, that would be exhausting.  its in those little moments when you have to remind yourself that you have done your best and dissapointment was and is always going to be part of the plan, that you eat away at your pain. 

I'm sitting in a silent room right now and for the first time in a long time I'm alone with my thoughts. I just realised that my blog is 1 year 1 week 4 days old today. WOW! can't believe I missed that. anyway happy belated birthday to us all...yaay! promise to make a bigger deal of it next year. 23rd of April. mark your calanders!

today as I reflect on the past few months I'm content. today isn't the day for OTT punctuations. all I wanted to do today was to tell everyone that I am OK.

bye smears